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100 Minutes of Solitude October 7, 2011

Posted by normanmonkey in Uncategorized.
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I really better do something before the girlfriend comes round later this afternoon. There’s a plate in the kitchen table next to the laptop that would make Tracey Emin think twice. It’s the accumulation of a man left to his own lazy devices: some aged rice, three empty soy sauce packets, a piece of chewing gum and five dog ends. The plate itself rest on a letter from Life Line screening informing me I’m now of the age where I could have a stroke. Charming.

Charles Saatchi may pay a fortune for this, but otherwise it marks me down as someone who really should know better . the fact of the matter is that even on a day off the last thing I want to do is confront it. Instead plate and I have been having a stare out now for several evenings and the heap has merely been added to when an ashtray has proven to be out of reach.

What she will mkake of it I don’t intend to find out. What women will never understand is that after working till late every night and managed to find only a modicum of time to pass out after a brief session on FIFA 12 that the first brief window of free time in a week simply cannot be spent scraping a plate. Surely it’s far better to have a Diet Coke, put on Sky Sports News and smoke a cigarette and write something about the predicament and hope that said plate will go away?

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