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Hoops, They Did It Again August 10, 2010

Posted by normanmonkey in Friends, In the news, QPR.
Tags: ,

The cup run was good while it lasted. It peaked around the chocolate tart and cheese and biscuits but juddered to a halt not long after kick off.

So, normal service has resumed at Queens Park Rangers. Ungraciously thumped to the point of humiliation by a Port Vale side two divisions below them, pissing down with rain in August, collective gloom, the occasional erupting psychopath, missed my train home by a split second and not a single positive to be drawn from the evening .

My major regret is that I didn’t drink anywhere near enough wine during the pre-match meal to have made the football on show hazy. Instead I had DT and Wilcock with me. They went on a scoffing mission at the dinner like two Dickensian waifs dragged into the W12 Club out the gutter. DT looked at my expression at a latter stage of the match and quite rightly said ‘If it hadn’t have been for that dinner, I’d be pissed off n’all’.

Others chipped in from afar: ‘A teabag stays longer in the cup than we do’, said a philosophical and suicidal Blewett via text. Poor sod, always gripped by an irrational sense of optimism. He always thinks it’s  going to be ‘Our Year’. I bet that’s what someone said in the Polish  cavalry in 1939.

I’ve just checked the calendar and there’s nine more months of this. More of a worry, it is supposed to be a primary form of entertainment, but anyone else whom willingly chooses to spend a cold Tuesday evening sitting in the rain in Shepherds Bush over any other form of location or recreation is either plastered, a lunatic or both which leads me to fear the worst for my level of aspiration and mental wellbeing.

No one is exactly holding their hopes out for a run in the FA Cup either. QPR has gone 14 matches without a win in that particular competition. Four draws, ten defeats – taking in the likes of Vauxhall Motors (yes, that is a football team and was news to us at the time as well) and a 4-0 defeat to a Swansea side at the time languishing 92nd in the league without a win for months. The last FA Cup victory was in extra-time against Luton in 2000. For us, there’s about as much romance in the cup as a date at Nandos with Fred West.

I need a plan, a diversion: Russia seems an interesting to go. Especially after those pictures of that spy Anna Chapman caught my attention. We have Cheryl Cole, ‘Proof’ as my friend Lucie says ‘That you can polish a turd’, while they’ve got international women of mystery, speaking multiple languages including that of seduction.

There was a story in one tabloid about how she had a fling with a student from Southampton. He said she was wild in bed, evasive, emotionally cold, avoided being photographed and he did think at the time it slightly unusual that she conducted her business on six mobile phones.

To most I suppose the clues were there, but I began to wonder if I’d been out with her myself. It came as no surprise to read subsequently that she lived in Weybridge for a time.  There’s the possibility Russia could be the ruin of me, especially if I can get all that kind of thing in Surrey.

And you know what? I bet she supports Port Vale.



1. HC - August 12, 2010

Could be worse, the Gas got a 6-1 drubbing at the hands of Oxford. My optimism for the season is already reduced to a sobbing ember.

As for Anna Chapman, I seem to be suffering the same inexplicable “attraction block” as I do for Lady Gaga. I just don’t get it, unless she can get me a cheap tarif.

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